It was that morning 2 day's before the fight, everyone standing outside the school, their was a special week plan, that the teachers were excited about since they didnt have to teach their class for a week, kinda like their week off, but because they are so selfish the kids still have to go...but instead had 2 classes to choose from. Their was shop class & home economics...Shot class which most of the boys took, which is what you chopped wood, kinda a pointless class, but none of the boys really didn't wanna do home economics, is what half of he girls took, "how to marry a rich men"" was a subject...
The Boy's were Sitting Outside...their shot class classroom.
Stan: Damn, this week is gonna suck.
(he said to Kyle , as he chucked his hat on the floor)
Kyle: I Know dude, why the hell do we still have to go to school.
(Cartman walks up and stops in the middle of the hall)
Cartman: GOD ****ING DAMMIT, I HATE YOU KYLE.
Kyle: What Did I Do?
Cartman: Oh Come On, it was your mother that said we need to go to school since shes a GOD DAMN BITCH.
Kyle: dude everytime your pissed off , you always seem to blame me or my mum..
Stan: Dude, Cartman's Right, remember when she tryed to get rid of Christma
Mr. Adler: Ok Boy's let's ready for for the 1ist day of shop class.
(all the boys sit in their seats ready for the lamess week ever)
Mr. Adler: Now No Screwing Around, i don't like kids that screw around.
Mr. Adler: i have ay, i have ay.
Stan: Mr Adler?
(the boys look at eachother as Mr Adler was looking at some picture frame)
That Day in class, the boys were having such a **** time their teacher kept looking a photo and crying, while he wanted to know, who the biggest trouble maker was (which ofcourse is Cartman) Craig & Tweek were it, the other boys were a bit confused with Tweek since all he does is scream at everything...but indeed. Craig can be really evil, flipping people off..that day, as the boys were wondering who is the 2nd worst after Cartman..the girls are Home.etc were learning about how to keep a rich man happy.
Home Economics
Miss Teacher: So Girl's The Hint, Of Getting A Rich Guy Is To Be Nice & Good in Bed.
(as the girls & Kenny wrote in their notepads wendy raised her hand)
Miss Teacher: Yes Wendy?
Wendy: I Wanted To Do Shop Class, But They Sent Me Here.
Miss Teacher: That's Right Wendy, And That's Why He Got Home Economics.
Kenny: WOOOOOOOHOOOOOO
Marnie: What if we don't want a old rich man.
Miss Teacher: Then you'll will be suffering in streets with 2 starving babies sucking out of your ****.
Bebe: Wow cool. i wanna a Hot rich guy with a awesome car.
Rebecca: OMG i want a diamond bed..
Kenny: mmf mmf WOO HOO
Miss Teacher: Well Then your in the right place.
Bebe: This is Gonna Be Fun.
AFTER SCHOOL
All The Boys were waiting at the back of the school since Cartman,Stan & Kyle planned at school fight after school With Craig & Tweek.
Stan: OMG This is gonna be so exciting.
Cartman: Yup, though Craig is soooo totally gonna kick Tweek's ass.
Kyle: No Way dude..tweek is gonna rule.
Clyde: What's Going On?
Kyle: Craig's Gonna Fight Tweek,
Clyde: Really Cool, which is odd, since they both left and went home like an hour ago.
Token: Yeah They Left.
LATER
CRAIG'S HOUSE
later that day Craig was at home, watching Red Racer, he didnt give a **** about the fight since he hates everybody.
Tom: Craig? i got a phone call from Mr Mackey he said you fliped him off again.
Craig: soo..
Tom: Well i'm getting trouble for it so don't do it again son
as his father walks out the door he flipped Craig off
Craig: asshole...
ding dong:
Craig went to open to door, and noticed it was Cartman & Kenny, he was pretty sick and angry when he saw them.
Craig: What The Hell Do You Assholes Want?
Cartman: Why the hell did you not show up for the fight.
Craig: Red Racers On.
Cartman: Dude, You Can Watch Red Racer Everyday of the week
Craig: I Do watch Red Racer Everyday of the week.
Cartman: Well **** you yeah yeah, well i guess you dont wanna know what Tweek said about you mom.
Craig: NO
(as Craig slammed the door in cartman's face)
Cartman: Can You Believe that asshole Kenny.
Kenny: mmf mmf
Cartman: ayy i gotta it
(knocks on door)
Craig: What?
Cartman: I Guess You Don't Care What Tweek Said about your Ginger pig.
Craig: WHAAAT? what did he say about Stripe.
Cartman: Oh Nothing, just that you stick it up your ass, everytime you go to bed
Craig: THAT ASSHOLE, i'll kill him.
Cartman: Yessss. so you'll fight him?
Craig: After Red Racer.
Cartman: After Red racer ofcoures.
SHARKS POND
at the pond, Clyde, Token, Rebecca & Marnie were chilin just near the pond..and eating mash mellow sundays.
Token: soooo Rebecca i see you love mash mellow's
Red: Umm Yes, (blushes)
Clyde & Marnie looked at eachother and tried not to laugh
Clyde: cough hahahahaha.
as Clyde starting pissing himself laughing (for no apparently reason) Suddenly Craig walked up.
Craig: I Really Can't Be Bothered fighting that stupid coffee kid.
Clyde: Dude your scared, (he laughs)
Craig: WTF? his a paranoid rat, i'll kick his ass tomorrow.
Marnie: Tweek's Adorable..i mean true his paranoid but thats what makes him so cute.
Clyde: ayyyyyy, i'm Adorable too....
Craig: omg (rolls eyes)
Marnie: umm yes (rolls eyes)
Clyde: bitched (he winked)
Craig: whatever, theirs no way i'm gonna lose to him.
Clyde: well im gonna be on Tweek's Side for this.
Craig: **** YOU *flips off*
Clyde: well i gotta go home before i get in trouble
Clyde kisses marnie on cheek and runs home.
Marnie: don't worry, i'll be on your side.
Craig: You Better.
Token: i probably won't be taking sides man, but i'll be rooting for you.
Red: Theirs A Fight?
Craig: well i gotta go home, see you 2 tomorrow.
It was the day of the fight, Craig wasn't nervous at all. He woke up, and put his ninja outfit on, since that night Eric Cartman was giving him some lessons. Since the day before, they both show up to the fight, not knowing what to do, Tweek pushed him, while Craig slapped him, The boy's had to think of something cause it was just embarrassing, the rest of the kids at school can't wait for the fight, so while Craig was learning new ninja moves, Tweek was learning boxing from uncle Jimbo, Tweek surely kicked Ned in the balls, Anyways today was the day is what everyone was waiting for.
School Cafeteria,
That Lunch All The 3rd Graders meet in the cafeteria, Stan, Kyle, Cartman & Kenny were sitting in the trouble next to Clyde's Gang, Craig was standing by the door flipping everyone off as they walked past, and Tweek was nowhere to be found.
Stan: "I Can't Wait For The Fight After School"'
Kyle: "Me Too Dude, Tweek is totally gonna kick Craig's ass" Kyle Said to Stan.
Cartman: "peef, yeah right jew, we all know Tweek is going down" Cartman yelled to Kyle
Kyle: "You wanna bet fatboy?""
Cartman: "You're on Jew"' Cartman yelled to kyle with a grin.
Suddenly Tweek walked through the door with a worried look.
Stan: "There he is Kyle" Stan Said While Pointing, and running to Tweek
Kyle: "Hey Tweek, You Ready To Kick That Losers Ass." Kyle said to Tweek.
Tweek: "'Ahhhh, oh geez, not really." Tweek Said nervously
Clyde: "Hey Guy's, Cartman told you guys to do a early weight check, before the fight later."Clyde said to Kyle & Stan.
Later All The Guys meet at Cartman's lunch table with Craig & Tweek
Cartman: So here we have Craig weigh at 32 And Tweek weigh a 36" said Cartman
Clyde puts his hands up
Kyle: "Yes Clyde."
Clyde: " How Long Will The Fight Last For" Clyde Questioned.
Cartman: "whenever Craig what's it to end" Cartman answered, while covering Craig's mouth
everyone laughed in the background
Cartman: Nah seriously, Craig has been ready for this fight since day 1, i won''t remember much about that freak. said Cartman
Kyle: "He'll Remember When his getting his ass kicked" Kyle Yelled
Cartman: "oh did you i hear something, oh it just sounded like diarrhea coming outside somebody's mouth"" Cartman smartass commented
Kyle got pissed off, and starting attacking Cartman, then stan & Kenny joined, while Craig & Tweek just sitting there, looking like idiots.
Clyde: "wow, Tweek & Craig really hate each other don't they, this should be a real good fight"" he said sarcastically
AFTER SCHOOL"
Behind the school was Craig , Cartman & His Gang, waiting to get pumped.
Clyde: "Can't Believe Its Soon, Cant Wait Man" Said Clyde excited.
Craig: "I Still Don't See The Big Deal, Seriously"
Cartman "now, don't talk like that, we have to win to show that Kyle is wrong" Cartman Yelled.
Craig: "But i'd don't care what Kyle 'thinks, I kinda hate him, and you"
Cartman: "Craig, shut up seriously because your PISSING ME OFF" Cartman Yelled.
Craig: "Whatever"
Token: "Good Luck Man"
Marnie: "Yes, even though i'm still going for both of you, so I don't really care who wins"
Craig: "Your suppose to go for me"
on the other side of the school, Stan, Kyle & the rest were sitting with Tweek.
Tweek: ahhh, i''m not ready, i - i mean what if *winks* tries to kill me"
Stan: Tha't's the whole point dude.
Tweek: ahhhhhhhh
Kyle: Don't Worry Tweek, You'll Be Fine
Wendy: So When It's Starting?
Stan: Now
Tweek: Oh Geez, Oh God.
SCHOOLYARD
Everyone walks up the hill to the playground, in the school, half of the class following Craig & Other Half Followering Tweek.
Stan: Stay Pissed Tweek, Stay Pissed:
Tweek: ahhh mad.
Cartman: Remember The Moves you learnt Craig, Remember su la me cha ca.
Craig: Ok?
Cartman, I MEAN IT SU LA ME CHA CA SU LA ME CHA CA.
Craig: Ok OK.
Craig was angry, he flipped him off, while tweek winked,
Stan: You Ready Tweek, You Ready Craig? LETS GET IT ON
Craig: Respect my are Floria.
Clyde: Get Your Programs Here.
Clyde was holding a box of programs as a joke
As Tweek Bunched, Craig In The Eye, Craig Totally whacked him onto the ground, they were going back and foward for ages,
Clyde: Dude, this fight is odd
Stan & Kyle: Common Tweek
Cartman: Common Craig
suddenly Tweek & Craig got tired, and didnt want to fight no more
Kyle: Tweek Did You Hear That?
Tweek: Hear What?
Kyle: Craig Just called you a dickheaf
Tweek Punched Craig right up and to the playground until the slide fell on them, tweek popped up thinking Craig is dead "YES i won i won" Tweek Yelled, but Craig jumped out of no where and tried to ****ing kill him, while they did, Craig chucked a huge pop a Tweek, as the pole flew to Tweeks head, he ducked and ended up hitting Kenny.
Stan: Oh My God, They Killed Kenny
Kyle: YOU BASTARDS
Mr. Adler: What The Hell is going on out here? FIGHT IS OVER.
That day while Craig & Tweek went to hospital, Mr Garrison was in the classroom grading papers, "oh Great back to school this week, what the hell do i do, so i can relax" He said to himself, as he was watching tally, and ad came up "Mr Garrison: Wha'ts This Mr Hat?"
HEY you wanna break from teaching class, then Call Sexual Harassment Panda, he'll teach you glass for (5 straight hours) and all you have to do is sit back and relax, call 555-611-607 if your interested"" said the tv man.
Sexual Harassment Panda
It was a nice snowy morning in South Park, Birds were singing, cars were driving, people are having their morning coffee, and enjoying today, except for Mr Garrison, he has something fun and awesome planned for the kids, wonder what it is, The 3rd Grade class was waiting outfit the class room, Mr Garrison was running late and so was the surprised Guest.
OUTSIDE CLASSROOM/School hallways
Kyle: "wonder where our teacher is?" he said to Stan , "i mean class started like 10 minutes ago"
Stan: "I know dude, his normally early to give us the *****"
Cartman: "well dude who cares i'm going to get some pizza" Cartman said as he was walking out the door. Suddenly he bumped into Mr Garrison "God Damn It" he cried.
Mr Garrison: "where do you think your going Eric?" Yelled Garrison
(stan & Kyle whispered to each other "oh know busted" said stan. (Kyle Laughed)
Cartman: "Shut Jew" he yelled to Kyle "umm no where, why teacher?" Cartman said with puppy dog eyes.
Mr Garrison: "Just get your monkey ass back to the classroom" He Yelled
(all the kids walked into the classroom, while Garrison Opened The Door)
IN CLASSROOM:
Mr Garrison: "Anyways Class, We Got A Special Visitor Today, to tell us the bad meaning of Sexual Harassment"
Kids: ahhhhoh (they complained)
Mr Garrison: "Welcome Sexual Harassment Panda"
Panda: Who lives in the East ‘neath the willow tree?
Sexual Harassment Panda!
Who explains sexual harassment to you and me?
Sexual Harassment Panda!
Don’t say that, don’t touch there
Don’t be nasty says the silly bear
He’s come to tell you what’s right and wrong
Sexual Harassment Panda!
Panda: HI EVERYBODY!
(slience)
Mr Garrison: "Say Hi To Sexual Harassment Panda!!!" he yelled to the class.
Kids (all together): Hi Sexual Harassment Panda.
Panda: "now when i say i a little Panda puts a willy in another panda's ear, that makes me a sad panda"
Stan: "This is freaking me out dude."
Panda: "and if a another panda takes the other panda's clothes off with his mouth, that makes me a very sad panda, now we are gonna read through this box, every single chapter"
Cartman: "You gotta be kidding me" he yelled
3 Hours later
Panda: "Chapter 19"
Kyle: "I Can't take this anymore" cried Kyle
Cartman: "I don't you guys, i think Sexual Panda, is kinda cool"
Stan: "ofcourse you would say that, you ass sucker" said Stan.
Cartman: "what did you just call me"
Stan: "I called you an ass sucker, like you suck ass, so that makes you an ass sucker"
Cartman '"I'm SEWING YOU FOR SEXUAL Harassment" He screams.
Stan: "Dude you can't do that"
Cartman: "It says right here in the book, chapter 8 you can sew people for Sex Harass".
Panda: That's Right.
Tweek: "OH Jesus, i can't take this class anymore, oh god this is way to much pressure"
(Tweek runs out the classroom)
Kyle: "ayy, how come his allowed to leave?"
Kenny: "mf mmf mmf mmmmf" (i know, its not ****ing fair)
Clyde: "I'm Hungry"
Mr Garrison: CLASS SHUT UP, now you are allowd to leave.
CITY HALL/COURT HOUSE
After school that day, Cartman was about to sew Stan for Sexual Harrassment, while they were waiting for Cartman Judges, Cartman had an evil smile of his face.
Judge: "Is you lawyer here yet?" she said too the Cartman
Cartman: "not yet"
Stan: "dude Cartman's got a layer.
Gerald "I'm Here, sorry i''m late"
Kyle: "Dad?"
Gerald: "Oh, Hey Kyle"
Judge Wacks The Table
Judge: Alright began, why did you call his fat kid, an Ass Sucker:
Cartman; Ayyy,
Stan: "It was just a little joke, i did'nt think it was gonna hurt anybody:
Cartman: lies.
Judge: Alright, You Eric, why did this kid call you an ass sucker?"
Cartman: "i dunno, his awful, i guess, he was looking at my body up and down, i feel his eyes burning inside me, and i could'nt handle it *cries*
Stan: God damn it fatass, his lying, i called him an ass sucker, that its"
Gerald: "as you can see, my client is to upset to speak.
Judge: hmm i see, bring the suggest up.
Gerald: Mr Garrison, did you know Sexual Harassment was happening in the classroom?
Mr Garrison: Me and Mr Hat Don't care (yes we don't get for your stupid sexual harassment crap) said Mr Hat.
Gerald: I'm Asking You, Not Mr Hat.
Mr Hat: "Oh Good job cream puff"
Gerald: Did Cartman Get Called an Ass sucker in school?
Mr Garrison: He is an little ass sucker.
Judge: MR GARRISON
Mr Garrison: oh sorry babe.
Gerald: Did he get called an ass sucker Yes or no?
Garrison: Yes.
Judge: CASE DESMIFT
Stan: What?
Judges: Stan You have to give half of your stuff to Eric, and the school gives this boy 3. million dollars.
NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL
(next day of school, everything went missing, no desks, no posters, and ofcourse not cork for the cork board, and all Chef can sell is slobby potato, the teachers were losing money, but Cartman was happy he was a right 8 yr old)
Stan: "Where is our desks?"
Garrison: "Well the school can't afford desks no more, so we have to sit on the floor, anyways class, since we don't have cork to write on the black bored, i have to write with this rusty nail"
Kyle: aww, this is all Cartman's fault.
Cartman: "whatever guys, all i know i got this cool sports-watch and these nice shoes, really guys, sewing people kick's ass"
Clyde: "I Wanna Sew Somebody"
Bebe: "Me too, i want a lawyer"
Marnie: me 3.
Mr Garrison: Anyways, lets just continue on what we are discussing about, in the sentice, the ball is red
*Screams AHHHHHH*
Mr Garrison: "I know children, but thats all we called afford"
Lunch Room
Chef: Hello There Childern, how's it going?
Stan: "bad"
Chef: "well it's gonna get worst, cause all i can sell is slobby potato
Cartman: "Sloppy Potato? oh know"
Stan: Chef we don't know what to do...i don't like this sewing ****.
Chef: His Kyle's dad, why won't you go talk to him?
Kyle: I've tried, he keeps going on, and keeps avoiding the subject.
Chef: Well try harder Childern, if you don't slobby Potato all the way.
Cartman: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NOTE: Never got finished, My Next Half will be around Season 6, Kenny Dies, So Stay By For Some Updates)
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